Things you'd never imagined yourself hearing....

Paul: "Moooooooooommmmmmmmmmy!!!!!!!!!!"
Me: "what?"
Paul: "Come here, you've gotta see this!"
Me: "okay."

I walked into the bathroom (with a sense of dread).

Paul: "Look! I made one big poop and one little poop!"
Me: "Um, good for you!"
Paul: "And I named the little one Cutie!"
Me: "oh dear."